Practicing Self-Love

As human beings, without even realizing, we occasionally rely on each other to find happiness. I know it’s hard to find contentment within ourselves - sometimes it’s a struggle for me. I once read that happiness isn’t a constant state of mind, it’s an emotion. It is unrealistic to be happy 24/7, but I do think we can reach a level of self-satisfaction - a place where we are joyful within ourselves and can take pleasure in some time alone. I don’t think we realize how much pressure it is to put on someone - the expectation to make ourselves happy. That’s not really fair when  you think about it. I wouldn’t want someone to expect that of me, if my intentions weren’t there. Only we can control our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I believe others can enhance and enrich our lives - make us laugh, smile, and help motivate us to be better people. I don’t think that is enough.

What’s wrong with self-love? I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “we need to put ourselves first in order to take care of others.” Easier said than done, right? I will say that nobody has ever been able to make me feel better about myself than me.

I wanted to share some suggestions for practicing self-love that have worked for me in the past. Please feel free to give it a try and let me know if any specific suggestions help:

-Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself. Tell yourself: I’m sorry - thank you - I love you. I’m sorry for not taking better care of you, thank you for being there for me, I love you. I know I’m always very hard on myself. Sometimes I need to just forgive myself and let it go. Would you give yourself the same advice as you would a friend? What would you tell yourself if you needed advice? I’m sure you would be more understanding in response to them as yourself, so be kind.

-Take yourself on a date. Go to a movie or dinner alone. Go for a walk or read a book in a park. If you’re worried about someone judging you for being alone, let it go. If you’ve never taken yourself on a date before, trust me, it’s very fulfilling.

-Sing a love song to yourself. I know it’s normal to think of a lover or friend when you’re jamming out in the car, but why can’t you be the subject of the song? Give it a try - it’s fun!

-Write down 3 things you love about yourself daily, for as long as you want. It may be a hard task at first, but the list is endless and will get easier each day.

-Take a couple minutes to yourself by relaxing on the floor. Take a few deep breaths and do a body scan slowly from head to toe to check in to see how your body is feeling. Be mindful of what body parts are connected to the floor.  Are there parts that feel tense or tight? Try to melt and release that body part into the ground. Take a moment to place your hands on your heart and give yourself some gratitude.

-Hold yourself accountable. How can others rely on you if you can’t rely on yourself? If you make plans to read a book, get a massage, or take a bike ride, stick with it. You know what your body needs the most.

-Let go of whatever doesn’t serve you. You don’t need negative energy surrounding you, especially if someone cut you off on the road or someone is rude to you. You can create an energy shield: imagine a gold light around you and say, “no negative energy can enter the gold light, only good energy in and out, even my own.” You can also brush off the energy by doing a sweep with your left arm underneath your right side and sweep all the way up under your armpit and down the arm, then repeat on the left side. Take a deep breath in and out afterwards. There should instantly be a sense of lightness or refreshment.

Always keep in mind that your body is a temple and you only have one. How you fuel your body and how you stay physically active is important. Think of it as maintaining your vehicle. You have to take care of it properly (water, food, exercise) if you want it to last 100 years. Self-love is just as important as a healthy lifestyle - it’s a good place to live emotionally when you’re comfortable with yourself. Don’t forget to tell yourself “I love you” today. I suggest saying it in the mirror. It could be a challenge but it’s a great way to start the day.

Never give up on yourself! It’s definitely a lifelong work in progress.